Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Whipple Procedure Recovery Day 34

My patient is recovering like crazy. After 27 days in the hospital he finally came home! We go for walks at the beach now, eat real food and everything. The only scary part for me is changing the dressing around the drain tube. My patient gets nervous about it and then I do too! Actually it is easier than I thought it would be but I will need more paper tape soon . Today was a Dr. G. day, and he scheduled a CT scan for May 12th; hope the drain will come out then! Then another follow up with Dr. G. on May 15th.

Apetite is very good even though the stomach can't handle all that he wants to eat. Grazing is now a legitimate way of dining! Antibiotics continue as well the the pain medication; to ease the stomach somewhat Trader Joe's has come in handy - I purchased some Triple Ginger Cookies and Ginger Chewies. So, he eats a cookie when he takes a pill.

I look forward to hearing what all that Dr. T. has to say (in June) about the pathology of the tumor and how often CT scans should be performed. Dr. T. is a digestive disease specialist and I trust his opinion over others. One dr. said that he didn't need a scan for 5 years but judging from the speed at which this one grew I have concerns that I'd like addressed.

Today our daughter sent a couple of boxes of goodies, crosswords, other games and a cruel 2,128 piece puzzle. We will have a good time working on it! I set up the mahjong table and we started working on it right away! Thanks kiddo!

So, I think I'm nearly done with making tiles but I DO have about 50 blank tiles so I may finish them up and move on. I have a couple of new interests right now. Lazy susans and hand built ice cream dishes...

Pictured is one of those bird tiles I like so much!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Day 18

Dr. T. said that it wasn't the type of pancreatic tumor they believed it was. He studied the pathology it was a cystic type that would have become cancerous had it not been detected and removed. I feel an undercurrent that some think it didn't need to be removed, perhaps Dr. S. because I get that feeling from him. I wonder if there is something unhappy between the two.

Day 18 in the hospital is hard. Day 17 was hard too. Must be getting better, please get better..

I spent most of the day on Day 17 working on clay. Raku day, trimming day, not a throwing day. A day to eat and get centered again.

I am thinking about my minigama that I didn't complete in a timely manner for various reasons. So by now it has dried sufficiently to make it impossible to build upon. After talking to Tiffany I will create a lid using nichrome wire and firebrick or Kaowool. The flue area could be the same. Other little things to make it useable...

Life got in the way of fun. That's ok too.
The photo is my husbands grandmother and her parents. Sudie Alice Stephens and Alva Ward. We have a gorgeous wedding ring quilt made by Sudie; it hangs in the loft and I see it every day.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Psychological Terrorism

I think I can breathe at last. When I can't see the way out I feel like I'll be there forever. And if I feel this way, then so do other people and they understand. The odd thing is that I forget how it was and see others suffering with it and wonder why are they doing that?

Recording this will help me to recall I hope.

I just finished reading The Reader by Bernhard Schlink; it helped take me out of myself for a while when I was alone and gave me something to think about in a philosophical way which felt good for a change.

I am in love with the word benign right now.

Benign non-active neuroendocrine pancreatic tumors the size of golf balls are miracles.

Kidney stones that require a trip to the emergency room are to be thanked and looked at in philosophical ways too.

The Whipple procedure is a beautiful miracle. Someone took the time to work it all out...how to get to the pancreas, etc., etc.

Day 6 and life is looking so much easier already than just a few days ago.

Morphine epidurals. Hallucinations. Psychological terrorism is what he called them. Dose is lower now being 5ml hour with 5ml extra he can deliver to himself 15 minutes apart if needed. I am happy to see he is using less and learning to manage the pain effectively. But most of all that he needs less.

So I have decided to now read something totally out of left field. It's called "a Short History of Tractors in UKRANIAN". Written by Marina Lewycka. It is touted as 'Mad and hilarious'. Just what the doctor ordered!

I see someone else has blogged about this book, think it's fun to bouce around to see what others are doing and thinking so I highlighted the blog rather than a dry description of the book!